Ten Steps to be the best Maid of Honor

Listen up, ladies – this is directed at those lucky gals who have been chosen to be the Maid (or Matron) of Honor. And it is an honor! Out of all the girls the bride knows, she’s chosen you to be her right-hand girl (literally). She trusts you above everyone else to get her down the aisle on time, to keep her steady throughout the planning process, and to be her sounding board. It’s a big pair of heels to fill so please take the job seriously. Here, then, are the 10 commandments to make you the best Maid of Honor ever!

As a Maid (or Matron) of Honor, thou shalt not….


Make it About You – Repeat after me – it’s all about the bride. She is the star of the day and you are in a supporting role. As the Maid of Honor, you are literally her right-hand gal. Your #1 Job is to provide her with practical support, with your duties including helping her dress, making sure she eats and stays hydrated, holding her bouquet during the ceremony, and giving a toast. More importantly, though, you are there to give her emotional support. If that means giving her a shoulder to cry on when she’s feeling overwhelmed or an ear to her venting or reminding her to take a deep breath and let it go, do it. She (and everyone else involved) will appreciate your efforts to keep her calm more than you will ever know. Another important task is to be her gatekeeper on the wedding day. Instruct everyone that they come to you with their questions rather than the bride and only ask for her input if it’s something she really needs to decide on.



Take Forever Getting Ready – Do not be that girl who holds up the show because she couldn’t manage her time properly. If you’ve got some passive-aggressive issues around the wedding, park them or bow out now. If you’re a hot mess when it comes to minding the clock, give yourself an additional hour. Ideally, aim to be 30 minutes early. Remember, you are there to support the bride and help her shine.



Let the Bride Feel She’s Alone – Over and over on wedding boards, we see brides bemoaning how alone they feel in their planning process. They dreamt of their Bride Tribe getting together for fun shopping episodes, pizza and planning parties and DIY craft get togethers (cue every montage to upbeat music featured in every wedding movie ever made) but the reality is many brides see little to no engagement from their gals. They feel like none of their girlfriends are sharing in their excitement or worse, can’t be bothered to help out. Tip – don’t wait for the bride to ask you to do something. Offer your assistance. Something as simple as “hey, do you need a hand with the invitations” or “did you want to go wedding shoe shopping” can make her feel that you’re excited about her celebration.


Curious about the other 7 things a Maid of Honor should never do? Check them out on Martha Stewart Weddings, including tips from Larissa Banting.


Do you have more tips for what are big no-no’s for a Maid of Honor? Let us know with a comment below.